Leticia R. Francis on Redefining Success, How to Stop Performing and Start Living for You

Let’s rip the plaster off...

If your success doesn’t feel like freedom, it’s not really success — it’s performance.

And most of us are out here performing for our lives.
Performing for parents who never approved of us.
Performing for cultures that reward burnout and punish softness.
Performing for society’s gold star that says, “You made it,” even when it’s slowly killing us.

You know what I’m talking about.
The job that pays well but feels like soul-death.
The degree you got to make them proud.
The picture-perfect relationship you’re too exhausted to leave.
The business that “looks good on Instagram” but doesn’t light you up anymore.

Yeah. That.

Let’s stop pretending we don’t feel it, the quiet grief of building a life you don’t even want.

Let’s talk about the lie.

You were told that success is linear.
That it looks like milestones.
That it sounds like claps and applause.
That it tastes like sacrifice and sleepless nights.
That it smells like expensive perfume in boardrooms where you can’t be your full damn self.

They didn’t tell you that success could be soft.
That it could feel like peace, like wholeness, like truth.
They didn’t tell you that your worth isn’t tied to hustle.
That you’re allowed to choose a life that feels good to you — not just looks good to them.

And so what did we do?
We became masters at climbing ladders we didn’t build, reaching for goals we didn’t choose, proving ourselves in systems that were never built for our joy.

Here’s the raw truth...

You can’t redefine success until you first burn down the version that was handed to you.

The version built on:

Capitalism convincing you that grind equals glory

Patriarchy conditioning you to achieve quietly and smile constantly

Trauma training you to mistake overworking for safety

Generational pressure telling you your worth lives in sacrifice

Let that version of success die.

Because real success?
Real success is rooted in self-trust, self-honour, and self-definition.

It doesn’t require you to abandon yourself to feel “valuable.”
It doesn’t require you to chase someone else’s dream just to prove you’re not a failure.

Let me ask you something — and don’t you dare answer with what sounds good.

What do you want?
Not what your parents wanted.
Not what your degree says you should do.
Not what your followers expect.
What you, at your core, actually want.

Can you even answer that?

Because here’s the thing about survival mode — it teaches you to be what’s expected, not what’s true.
You stop dreaming. You stop choosing. You start conforming.

You become who you needed to be to stay safe, accepted, respected, needed.

And that’s why redefining success is so damn uncomfortable.
Because it means reclaiming your right to want what feels good.
It means admitting that the life you’ve built may not align with the woman you’re becoming.

Redefining success isn’t a mindset shift. It’s a confrontation.

You will have to confront:

The job you worked so hard for that no longer fits your soul

The relationship that offers stability but not intimacy

The business that’s “working” but doesn’t reflect your heart

The version of you who is still trying to earn approval from people who wouldn’t recognise your healing even if it danced naked in front of them

You will have to admit that success built in survival mode isn’t sustainable.
And you will have to choose yourself — loudly, messily, and unapologetically.

And here’s what I need you to know:

Redefining success might mean walking away from what once validated you.
It might mean choosing peace over applause.
It might mean letting the empire crumble so you can finally breathe.
It might mean disappointing people who built their comfort around your self-abandonment.

But you know what else it means?

Liberation.
Alignment.
Ownership of your life.

It means waking up without dread.
It means making decisions that honour your nervous system instead of assaulting it.
It means choosing depth over optics, truth over tradition, joy over duty.

So how do you redefine success? Start here:

Audit what you’ve achieved.
Look at your life and ask: Does this feel like mine?
If no, ask: Who was I trying to impress when I chose this?

Get radically honest about what feels good.
Not what’s profitable. Not what’s popular. What actually nourishes you?

Let your values lead.
Success aligned with your values never feels like betrayal.

Detach from the timeline.
There is no deadline for your joy. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

Give yourself permission to evolve.
You are not failing because you want different. You are evolving because you’re finally awake.

This work isn’t easy. But it’s holy.

Because when you redefine success, you reclaim your life.
You stop living for applause and start living in alignment.
You stop achieving for validation and start choosing for freedom.

And in doing so, you become dangerous.

Because a woman who defines success on her own terms is a woman the world can’t control.

So, what does success look like for you now?

Is it a slower pace?
A smaller house with a bigger garden?
A job that pays less but lets you sleep at night?
A business built on values, not vanity metrics?
A schedule that leaves space for your joy?

There are no wrong answers.
Just honest ones.

And honesty is the most radical kind of success you can ever have.

You were not put on this Earth to chase someone else’s dream.
You were not made to fit into a mould you didn’t shape.
You were not born to exhaust yourself for gold stars you don’t even want.

You were made for more.
Not just more things, but more truth.
More meaning.
More joy.
More peace.

So take a deep breath.
And burn the old blueprint.

Because your new definition of success?

It starts with finally choosing yourself.