There’s an unspoken pressure in the healing world.
If you’re a spiritual person, you’re supposed to be calm. Centred. Always at peace.
If you’re a coach or mentor, you’re expected to be five steps ahead, never triggered, never tired.
If you’ve “done the work,” you shouldn’t still be struggling… right?
Wrong.
This myth of the perfect healer - this polished, flawless version of someone who’s transcended all pain and now floats through life in a bubble of light - it’s not just untrue. It’s harmful.
Because it keeps us performing instead of healing. It keeps us quiet instead of reaching out. It keeps us in shame about our very human moments, instead of seeing them as part of the path.
I’m Not Always OK (And That’s OK)
Let me be honest. I’ve cried on the bathroom floor. I’ve lost my patience. I’ve doubted myself. I’ve had days where I’ve felt like a fraud, wondering who I am to help others when I’m still figuring things out myself.
But here’s the thing: I’m not here because I have it all together.
I’m here because I’m willing to keep going.
To keep showing up.
To keep healing, questioning, evolving.
Being conscious doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being present. Being aware of your patterns, your choices, your responses - and giving yourself grace when you fall into old ones.
The Problem With “Healed People Only”
There’s a trend in the personal development world - only listen to people who are “fully healed.” Only trust leaders who seem polished. Only share your truth when it’s wrapped up in a bow with a lesson at the end.
But here’s what that creates:
Performative healing.
Suppressed emotions.
A deep, subtle shame that you’re still not “there yet.”
Healing isn’t a destination. It’s not linear. And it doesn’t look the same for everyone.
You can be wise and wounded. Grounded and grieving. Expanding and uncertain.
There’s no finish line where you’re suddenly “enough.”
The Power of Owning Your Mess
There is so much strength in being honest about your mess.
When you say, “I don’t have all the answers,” when you let yourself be seen in the middle of the work - not just at the end of it - you give other people permission to breathe.
You stop pretending. You stop performing.
And something sacred opens up: connection.
Not the kind built on pedestal energy, but the kind that says, “Me too. I see you. I’ve been there.”
Living Consciously While Still Healing
This is the real spiritual work:
Not bypassing pain, but being with it.
Not waiting until you’re “fixed” to share your gifts.
Not trying to be liked by everyone, but being real with yourself.
I still get triggered. I still have wounds I’m working through.
But I know myself now. I know when something’s mine and when it’s not.
I know how to hold myself with compassion - and how to ask for help when I need it.
Living consciously doesn’t mean you always get it right.
It means you stay awake. You keep choosing truth, even when it’s hard.
An Invitation to Be Human
If you’re walking a spiritual path and sometimes feel like a mess, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it bravely.
You’re showing up for yourself. You’re questioning the old stories. You’re reclaiming parts of yourself that were silenced or shamed.
And that’s not weakness. That’s power.
You don’t have to be the “perfect healer.”
You just have to be willing to meet yourself honestly, again and again.
That’s what makes you trustworthy. Not the image. Not the illusion.
But the integrity of being real. (Photo by Shannon Barr Photography)
The next time you feel like you’re failing because you're not floating in a state of bliss 24/7… remember this:
Growth is gritty. Healing is cyclical. You are allowed to be both a work in progress and a guide for others.
You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.
You just need to be true.
