Scars that Shine: Amy Ferris on The Stories We Bury, The Voices We Need

May 2025 Issue, Week 3
Amy Ferris| 19 May, 2025 72638595
Scars that Shine: Amy Ferris on The Stories We Bury, The Voices We Need
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Scars That Shine
Almost every woman I know at some point in their life has been abused, harassed, attacked, preyed upon - dirtied, sullied; an unwanted sexual proposal offered on the street, in a bar, on the job, in the back of a cab, in a hotel room. 
 
A verbal attack, an emotional beating. 
 
When I was younger - much, much younger - I gave a guy - a fashion designer - a blowjob so I could get the receptionist job at his swanky showroom. 
 
I could not say no. 
 
I needed a job, and he held all the cards and all the power. 
 
I had no self-esteem; none, zero, zilch. And with no self-esteem comes a desperation. And what I learned and what I know: desperation breeds desperation. 
 
It multiplies. 
 
I buried that story - that experience way down deep. For years and years I never told a soul about what I did to get that job. It was buried next to other shameful stories; other guilt ridden experiences, other embarrassing things I did. And for years and years every time those stories bubbled up, I pushed it all down as far as I could, trying desperately to annihilate them; destroy them, keep them from day light. 
 
I wanted those stories, those shameful awful embarrassing stories to disappear, to be gone. And then the whole Bill Cosby abuse story surfaced and women were sharing their tales of horror, and I decided yes, it was time to share that story; the fashion designer story, and honest to God, my life - my heart - felt less burdened, less frightened, less damaged. I wrote the piece - Cosby and Effect. I was truly shocked at the effect - no pun intended - that piece had. 
 
We no longer need to be loyal - or protect - the ones who abused us, hurt us, violated us. 
 
I couldn't sleep last night when I read about Virginia Giuffre, the amazingly brave woman who came forward about Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew. She was so courageous and spoke so powerfully - she had been abused her entire life. She died yesterday. She took her own life.  
 
All of these stories - our stories - hers, mine, yours… the woman down the street, the girl at the checkout counter, the wife walking two, three steps behind her husband, the lady you never see who keeps her blinds closed, the older woman whose sunglasses hide the truth  - all those stories need to be told; exposed to sunlight. 
 
Those stories, the ones that are unbearable - tainted, stained with semen and blood, welts and scars; filled with bad men and yes, bad women and bad ugly vile humans… and bad choices and folks who didn't give a fuck about our lives when we needed so badly, so badly, to be cared for; scary words that were spoken or whispered into our ear, words that scared the shit out of us; those are the stories that need to be out in the world now, right now. 
 
We can no longer keep them hushed, silenced, buried - buried in us; eating away at us, hurting us and harming us, making us sick; keeping us small and fearful and ashamed. 
 
Those stories clutter our lives, every bit - head to toe - heart and soul. 
 
Those stories need to be out of our bodies because they drive a wedge between ourselves and the world, keeping us from being intimate and by intimate I mean present and alive, and Goddess knows, we ALL need to be out and about making a huge motherfucker massive ruckus in the world. 
 
Our world. 
 
So, to all the women … and yes, girls snd boys and men who have come forward -  and keep coming forward - wearing your courage and your brave out-loud: I thank you. I so deeply thank you. Your bravery and your courage is mighty fierce and gorgeous, please, never cover it up.
Amy Ferris
Amy Ferris Author
Author

Amy Ferris is an author, a writer, a screenwriter, an editor and a playwright. Her memoir, Marrying George Clooney, Confessions From a Midlife Crisis (Seal Press) was adapted into an Off-Broadway play in 2012. Amy has written for both the small screen (TV) and the big screen (Feature Films).

As a screenwriter, she co-wrote Mr. Wonderful (Director, Anthony Minghella) and was nominated for a Best Screenplay Award (BET, Black Reel Award) for her adaptation of the film, Funny Valentines (Director, Julie Dash) As an editor, she curated Shades of Blue, Writers on Depression, Suicide and Feeling Blue (Seal Press), and co-edited the anthology, Dancing at the Shame Prom (Seal Press). She co-authored Old School Love (HarperCollins, 2020) with Rev Run of RUN DMC fame. Amy serves on a variety of advisory boards supporting women and the Arts. She co-founded The Milford Readers & Writers Festival, and is on faculty at The Kauai Writer's Conference. 

In 2019 she was named one of Women's eNews 21 LEADERS FOR THE 21st CENTURY, in 2021 she was a recipient of NextTribe's The 12 Women Who Changed the World, and in 2022, Amy was awarded and honored by the Thoughtful Book Festival as Inspirational Woman in Media. 

Her new memoir, Mighty Gorgeous - A Little Book About Messy Love, was published Fall 2023 (SheWritesPress). Her new book, Amy In Retrograde, will be published in March 2026 by Glitterati Publishers. 

 

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