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Mike Devlin on Scars, Soup, and Special Boards

12 May, 2025 184366
Mike Devlin on Scars, Soup, and Special Boards

Running and working in a professional kitchen takes patience, time, planning, and an awful lot of preparation. It also requires working at breakneck speed, constantly being under pressure, a thick skin, a warped sense of humour, a high pain threshold, and occasionally military precision. It really does take a special kind of person to be a chef, and they should be lauded.

What follows is what really goes on in restaurants. Some will apply to all places, but not all will apply to every single one. Got that? Let's go have a look behind the scenes ... 
 
To Glove or Not To Glove 
Most chefs will not wear gloves preparing, making, or plating your food - it just isn't practical - so, yes, someone's (clean, obviously) fingers have been in and on your food. 
 
The only times gloves are worn is when handling ingredients that stain (beetroot, red cabbage, turmeric, etc), the chef has a bad cut, or when cleaning equipment with skin harmful substances. 
 
If you don't want your food touched, go to a well known fast food establishment. 
 
Accidents 
Speaking of cuts, there won't be a chef in the kitchen who doesn't have scars, and chances are someone will slice through their hand whilst you are there. Sometimes minor, sometimes resulting in blood everywhere - but it will be taken care of hygienically, and your plate will still arrive. 
 
Illness 
There's also a good chance one of the chefs is ill, and I don't mean under the weather either. Obviously some conditions legally prevent a chef from entering a kitchen altogether (although I have witnessed it), but more often than not due to staffing issues, chefs will work even though they really really shouldn't. 
 
Under the Influence or Hungover 
The majority of chefs drink too much (or are full blown alcoholics) and/or use drugs; it is a way to 'switch off'. Occasionally the person who made your meal will be over the limit to drive, or stoned. If that isn't the case, then they'll probably just be suffering from the mother of all hangovers, and only had two hours of sleep because they didn't get back in until 5am. 
 
Friendly 
Chefs tend not to be very 'peopley', there's a reason they work in the back and not out front. That's not to say they never appreciate customer thanks, quite the opposite, but they don't like being interrupted or asked to visit a table. And they definitely do not like being told how to make something; would you tell a surgeon or a pilot how to do their job? No, you wouldn't. Plus a special place in hell is reserved for those who order a well done steak.
 
Allergies and Dietary Requirements  
These days this is common and that's fine (nut allergy? We'll sort it), but some people take it to a professional level. The server is the first line of defence, knowing they can come and ask if necessary (unfortunately, younger servers ask the most insane questions: "Are jacket potatoes free from gluten?" "Does the streaky bacon come from pigs?") 
 
Be prepared that if you say you are lactose intolerant and then order something with Bechemal Sauce despite you being explicity told not to, you will be made fun of.  
 
Notices, Signs, and Menus 
These serve two purposes: to tell you what is being served, and any information you need BEFORE you order. 
 
The Head Chef, or Executive will have put a great deal of effort into these. But no matter how well worded or large these things are, customers will still ask about something that is right there in front of their eyes. 
 
Side note: No, you cannot order half of one dish and half of another in one plate ('menu hacking'); if you could, it would already be on the menu. Neither can onions be removed from a curry base that was made yesterday. 
 
Specials 
"It's 'special', it must be good!" 
No, no it isn't. There are only two reasons there is a Specials Board: the Head Chef got an unexpected great cheap deal on an ingredient, and has created something from it, or "Chef, that beef needs to be used up by Thursday". 
 
That's it. If it truly was 'special' it would permanently be on the menu. 
 
Soup de Jour 
This is especially true of soups; a chef has discovered some perfectly fine vegetables but that they need to be used up. 
 
In fact, most soups are created this way; it is just blended refrigerator stuff. And the croutons are old, going stale, bread that needed using up. 
 
Another side note: that plate that cost you 25? It has at a maximum, ingredients that cost 5. The rest of the cost go to overheads, such as utilities, wages, insurance, rent, and the like, not to mention the skill of the chefs involved. 
 
Forgotten 
Despite not being 'peopley', chefs are, oddly, ignored. Sure, your server took care of you, took your order, brought you your food, and checked in on you, but without the chefs you wouldn't be there, which begs the question as to why customers tip their server, and not the ones who made the food you adored. Yes, I am aware many US servers are on absolute bare minimum wage, but that's the fault of the restaurant, and isn't a thing elsewhere in the world. They are also probably not in the middle of a 12 hour shift in a very hot kitchen. 
 
Buy the kitchen drinks - they will love you for it. 
 
The Legend of the Kitchen 
The Head Chef? Nope. The chef who comes up with an ingenious idea to resolve a sudden problem? Also, no. 
 
It's the Kitchen Porter. That person who does the dishes (and occasionally chops some vegetables). This is the hero, the master, The Legend. 
 
Without the KP the kitchen very quickly collapses and ceases to function. Chefs often get a bad rep for being arrogant or full of themselves, but they all know who the most important person in the kitchen is, and it's not even a close race. 
 
House Made 
This is more of a suggestion than a rule. That's not to say it is never completely made from scratch, but sometimes, adding mayo, yogurt, or an infused oil is acceptable because it's still technically a house made sauce when you include all the other things thrown in.
 
Yum Yum 
Your food not only looks great but tastes amazing, and is the correct temperature. Chefs know this because they have eaten your food, often from your plate before you get it. 
 
Speaking of which, during the downtime, it's time for chefs to eat (yes, they have been ravenous for the last 4 hours, whilst surrounded by your food). Trouble is, customers don't like to see chefs eating, so you can find them sat on the floor out of sight, in a corridor on a pile of flattened boxes, or anywhere just to keep you happy. 
 
Whilst you are eating in plain sight of everyone. 
 
And why does restaurant food taste so good? Sure, going out to eat is an experience, but it is all down to the quality of the chefs and that they care not for nutrition and only what tastes good; if it requires half a block of butter, you can bet it's going in there. 
 
Garnish 
This one is very clever. You, the customer, are paying for something small and edible that makes your plate sparkle and shine, but chances are you won't eat it. Brilliant! 
 
Also, it is very rare that citrus fruits are ever washed. 
 
Mistakes 
It happens. Way more than you think. But that is true in every walk of life, it's just (not) amusing to see how customers react to this. Chefs will, sometimes, make amends by sending out something free, or instructing the server to knock something off the bill. 
 
However, "I do apologise for the delay, but the chef was not happy with an aspect of your meal, so is currently making a new one just for you," is kitchen-speak for 'the idiot new guy dropped your food on the floor again'. 
 
Occasionally though, it has nothing to do with the kitchen, and in fact it's the moaners on Table 5, who are complaining about the lighting, taking up all the server's time preventing them from bringing you your well-timed food. 
 
Politeness, and courtesy will always be rewarded and dealt with ahead of customers who don't like the wallpaper. 
 
Drinks, Drinks, Drinks 
More of a FOH (front of house) thing, but if you spend the first hour doing nothing but ordering drinks, you should have gone to the bar first. Tables are booked in slots; you don't get to own it all evening (unless you're spending thousands). 
 
Crying 
As a general rule, despite being lauded for their skills, chefs often have the look of someone you would not want to meet in a dark alley. But this really isn't the case at all. 
 
Remember when I spoke of hungry chefs sitting on the floor hiding from prying judgemental eyes? Sometimes they do this to have a minor breakdown. Yes, that 250lb/115kg heavily tattooed, knife welding guy goes off to the cold storage, out of the way, to cry. 
 
Sadly, the extent of mental health issues amongst kitchen staff is very high, and the stress of the job only exacerbates it. Please remember this as you sit in a very busy restaurant, and can see flames flaring up from the stove top, hear loud shouts resonating everywhere, and witness the tired look on the chef's faces.