Michelle Padgett On Why Healing Feels Messy (and Why That’s Exactly How It Should Be)

I’ve learned, after working with countless women and children, that most people have no idea how much they’re carrying.

When they sit across from me in coaching sessions, or read my little workbooks or articles, the same disclaimers spill out:

“I don’t think my story matters.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to heal.”
“I hate talking about the past.”
“I’m not worthy of being loved.”

No longer called the Trauma Club—welcome to the Healing Club. If I had a pound for every person who told me they felt “too broken” to start, I’d already be building my life’s dream of healing centres around the world. I love sitting with survivors, unpacking their stories, and gently laying out the truth—a plan of action for their healing journey. It’s always that “ah-ha” moment when the client’s eyes begin to open, and they finally see that there is hope for them. They glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. No longer hopeless, but hopeful.

Healing isn’t about wearing a mask or pretending you have it all together.

It’s about giving yourself permission to be seen and heard—with scars, tears, and a tremble in your voice—and saying: “This is my story of what I’ve been through. I will no longer be silent. From this day forth, I will thrive.”

The Dirty Secrets of Healing

Healing has a reputation problem. For some, it seems too “soft,” too emotional, too slow. Others dismiss it as wallowing in the past. I say: heal at your own pace. Give yourself permission to embrace every part of the process, and don’t stuff down or suppress your emotions. When done right, it’s not about feeling pitiful; it’s about regaining your stolen power.

We live in a society that worships productivity and appearance—often false ones at that. Vulnerability and transparency are viewed as weakness. But in life, we don’t break because of logic or lack of knowledge; we break because of wounds—trauma inflicted on our souls by loved ones, friends, or authority figures. That’s why true healing doesn’t happen with surface-level solutions. It happens when you dig deep into the soul to discover the truth.

I call these truths “golden nuggets.” Each breakthrough, each prayer, each journal entry, each hard conversation is one more golden nugget leading you towards wholeness. The more nuggets you find along your journey, the more your true identity is revealed, because you begin to unravel the layers and discover who you really are.

Don’t Pretend to be Perfect

Society has taught us, especially as women, to downplay our pain. To just smile through it. To wait for someone else to give us permission to speak.

So when we finally do ask for help, we find ourselves torn between silence and truth. The nagging voices in our heads play a game of tug of war with our souls.

“Who do you think you are to be healed?”
“The trauma wasn’t that bad.”
“What if people don’t believe you?”

After years of walking people through transformation, I can tell you: those voices are liars.

Healing is not about racing to the finish line or demanding perfection. It doesn’t come polished and wrapped like a Christmas present. The more open you are, the messier it can get. But it is through honesty and transparency that maturity and growth come. There are always tears behind triumphs, and the unedited story is where the real victory lives.

The Greatest Strategy for Life

Healing is more than personal—it’s part of God’s masterplan. It changes how you show up in relationships, at work, in your family, and in your faith. It creates peace, clarity, and credibility. Healing is the single most underused tool for success.

One of the biggest myths is that you must hit rock bottom before you heal. That isn’t true. If there is openness, humility, honesty, and a willingness to do the work, you can step into freedom and wholeness. Then you’re no longer just surviving—you’re thriving.

You’re Not Fighting This Battle Alone

You won’t “win” every battle. Some days the old pain sneaks back in to whisper that you’re alone, but that’s not true. You have a support team—your cheerleaders—walking with you. The goal isn’t to erase the past but to stop it from defining your future.

The confidence that comes from identifying your pain is priceless. The ripple effect of healing is generational. When your children and community see you rise, they rise too.

One of life’s greatest blessings is watching clients break cycles that haunted families for decades.

You Deserve to Flourish

Not when you’re “fixed.” Not when you’re perfect. Now.

There’s no such thing as perfect, and chasing it is just another prison. You deserve to flourish today.

Healing is simply the vehicle. The deeper work is granting yourself permission to be seen, to be whole, and to step into your purpose without apology.

That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve built my life’s work on. Not teaching theory, but guiding real transformation.

Here’s your nudge: you’re more ready than you think.

Stop waiting for someone else to tell you it’s time to heal. It already is.