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What is a sandwich?
It is an easy enough question but one that is not easy to answer. At all. Because the more I looked into this most simple of questions, the more and more complicated it got.
I really should know better than to get myself into these things.
Firstly we should get the whole actual sandwich history thing out of the way. In 1762, First Lord of the Admiralty and Secretary of State, John Montagu (1718-1792), the 4th Earl of Sandwich was reportedly so engrossed in the card game he was playing, that he requested of his servants - so to not have to interrupt it - to bring two slices of bread with ham in-between them (although possibly beef). This way he could eat with one hand, and not get grease on the cards. "I'll have what Sandwich is having" asked the others, and so it became thus. There is a possibility that this was requested whilst he was working at his desk and possibly continued into card games, but essentially it was a rich white man's invention. Only it wasn't because people all over the World had been eating 'sandwiches' for centuries if not millennia, but he was rich and white so therefore score one for the First World.
But what is a sandwich?
Ostensibly it is two pieces of a leavened baked dough with a filling comprising of one or more items added at a later date. These items may or may not be eaten separately but if encased on at least two sides it quantifies as a sandwich.
I say 'added at a later date' because this is an important piece to the puzzle. Fillings cannot be added to an unbaked dough and willingly call itself a sandwich, as such a Calzone is automatically disqualified, as, too, is a Pop Tart.
'Encased on at least two sides' is also important because if ignored then buttered toast could claim to be a sandwich, which it very clearly isn't and I will die on that hill defending its non-inclusion.
Also important is 'leavened baked dough', which quickly rules out cookies, some donuts, biscuits (both sides of the pond), and other such nonsense. I say some donuts because of course baked donuts do indeed contain yeast, as opposed to the batter kind that are deep fried. So can they be part of a sandwich? I guess we need to look at the legal rulings around the world. I told you I really should know better, didn't I?
The UK doesn't actually have a legal definition, but the BSA (British Sandwich Association - yes it's an actual thing) stipulates that 'Any form of bread with a filling, generally assembled cold; a definition which includes traditional wedge sandwiches as well as filled rolls, baguettes, pitta, bloomers, wraps, bagels and the like, but not burgers and other products assembled and served hot.' Yeesh!
For regulatory purposes such as Natasha's Law (named after 15 year old Natasha Ednan-Laperouse who died from an allergic reaction after eating a baguette where the ingredients were not fully itemised), 'sandwich' is a very broad term encapsulating many many items.
So far, so clear as mud. How about the most litigious nation on the planet, the USA? Unfortunately for us, there is no Federal Law, for it is up to individual States to clarify what is and isn't, and this is often based upon things like Sales Tax or simply Local Court rulings.
New York's law for example is based upon Sales Tax and includes, burritos, gyros, hot dogs, wraps and pitas, and hamburgers on buns, rolls, etc. Whereas Massachusetts brought in a law after a complaint by a sandwich seller in a mall, that had a written contract claiming exclusivity as the only sandwich stall, got upset when someone opened up a burrito place. The court declared that a burrito (and quesadillas and the like) were not sandwiches so the lawsuit was thrown out.
Conversely, an Indiana court ruled that a burrito *is* a sandwich.
Colorado is apparently on drugs because: Sandwiches as used in articles 47 and 48 of Title 12, C.R.S. are defined as single serving items such as hamburgers, hot dogs, frozen pizzas, burritos, chicken wings, etc.
Aaaaaarrrrgh!
Now I did say there is no Federal Law, but The U.S. Department of Agriculture does have a sandwich definition: a closed sandwich containing "at least 35% cooked meat and no more than 50% bread," and an open sandwich as "at least 50% cooked meat."
Obviously the USDA has not read this article because, as said, I will die on that hill in regards to one piece of bread. But what this also means is that the USDA cares not for vegetarian sandwiches. No idea what they would call one though. Also PB&J is now officially not a sandwich.
To make matters worse, the USDA has classed burritos and fajitas as "sandwich-like" and frankfurters as "sandwich type," indicating the existence of a separate, non-sandwich-sandwich category.
Why did I turn to the USA for clarification, and seriously why do I do this to myself?
How about the EU? They have laws and clarification for pretty much everything. Well, they usually do but not for sandwiches as they are more interested in whether food will kill you or not, and not what is and isn't. As such it becomes a member State' definition, and one that quickly stands out is when Ireland told Subway that they don't serve bread. Obviously Subway were a tad perplexed and went to court. It was about the tax (isn't it always?) and that Subway should be charged more. Reason? Bread could only have a maximum of 2% sugar in it, something that Subway had greatly exceeded at 10%.
The short and tall of all that was that Ireland got more taxes and Subway continued to officially call it bread because they didn't care. Everyone's a winner.
Not even Australia has a legal definition. Why are they doing this to me? In fact there is not a single country on the planet that has a cast iron no nonsense law (yes, I am looking at you, Colorado) stating what a sandwich is. Probably should have started with that, huh?
With all this in mind we do actually have some clarification here and there if we collate all these laws (even the stupid Colorado one) to come up with a general consensus of opinion. And it will only be an opinion, because as at the time of writing I am sadly unable to put things into law (but when I do, you better watch out so-called alcohol free 'beer').
As far as I am concerned it must be a yeast based dough, and has a filling of *any* sort - yes, that includes non-meat stuff. And that filling must be between the aforementioned baked dough.
Two slices of toast with a piece of bread in it? Sandwich. Seventeen types of meat in it? Sandwich. Mashed up egg in mayo? Sandwich. A single lettuce leaf, no matter how stupid that is? Sandwich. A hot dog in a bun? Sandwich. So, too, is a burger. And to a lesser extent, because these arbitrary rules I have just made up say so, a folded over pizza. If you slice a donut (or doughnut) in half and put jam in it, it becomes a sandwich, but if it's a jammy donut it isn't. You can take your 2% sugar content and shove it, Ireland.
At the end of the day, it probably doesn't matter (save for stuff spread on a single slice of bread, but then I suppose you could fold it, in which case ...) And if not one single country - even Singapore which has social laws for everything - can be bothered to write something down, then practically anything put into a baked bread-type product is a sandwich.
What have we learned? That all this was probably a total waste of my time and I shouldn't have bothered. But to come to that conclusion, I had to bother for it to be discovered I shouldn't have bothered. Sometimes in life it is the journey that matters and not the destination.