What Every Mom Needs to Know About Rest and Mental Health
The night I finally slept felt like a rebirth.
It wasn’t a full eight hours. In fact, it was just four hours in a row. But for the first time in what felt like forever, I woke up without tears behind my eyes, without a pounding heart, and without the crushing fog that had taken over my mind since becoming a mom.
Before that night, my world was unraveling in slow motion. On paper, I had everything—a healthy baby, a supportive partner, and a home filled with love. But inside, I was quietly falling apart.
Like many moms, I thought my suffering was “normal.”
I thought waking up every hour, feeling rage over spilled milk, crying in the shower, and snapping at my partner were just part of motherhood.
After all, weren’t we told that moms are supposed to be exhausted? That good mothers put everyone else first? That if you're struggling, you're probably just not trying hard enough?
But the truth is: motherhood doesn’t have to feel like drowning.
Recent studies show that up to 75% of new mothers experience sleep deprivation severe enough to affect their cognitive functioning and mood.¹ Add to that the emotional load of motherhood—the constant decision-making, the invisible labor, the identity shift—and it’s no wonder so many women are silently suffering.
We tell moms to "sleep when the baby sleeps," but we rarely talk about what happens when that baby wakes up every hour. We remind them to “enjoy every moment,” but we don’t ask if they're okay. We celebrate the baby's milestones but overlook the mother’s mental health.
For me, the breaking point came one night at 3 a.m., rocking my baby in the dark, barely able to keep my eyes open. I remember thinking, I don’t even feel like a person anymore. That night, I finally whispered to myself: Something has to change.
The First Step: Permission to Rest
Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: rest is not a reward—it’s a right. It’s not selfish. It’s not lazy. It’s a foundational part of being a healthy woman and an even healthier mother.
When I finally sought help—not just for my baby’s sleep, but for my mental well-being—it was like opening a door back to myself. I learned things that felt like secrets no one had shared before.
Let me share some of those things with you now.
5 Things Every Exhausted Mom Needs to Hear
Sleep deprivation is not just hard—it’s harmful. Chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to postpartum depression, anxiety, and even long-term cognitive decline.² You’re not “overreacting” if you feel like you can’t cope—it’s your brain begging for rest.
Asking for help is strength, not failure. Whether it’s hiring a sleep consultant, leaning on a partner, or saying yes when your mom offers to take the baby overnight—it matters. You don’t get a gold star for doing it all alone.
You don’t need to do everything to be a good mom. You don’t need a Pinterest-worthy home or organic, homemade meals every day. What your children need most is a mother who is emotionally present—and that starts with you being well.
Mental health matters as much as physical health. Postpartum rage, intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness—these are real symptoms that deserve professional support. You are not “crazy.” You are human, and healing is possible.
Your worth is not measured by your productivity. You are enough, even when the laundry isn’t folded. Even when you feed your kids cereal for dinner. Even when you cry in the bathroom and feel like a mess.
The night I finally slept wasn’t just about getting rest—it was about reclaiming a part of myself that had gone quiet. The part that laughed without guilt, that dreamed beyond nap schedules, that felt worthy even when unshowered and wearing spit-up-stained pajamas.
Motherhood will stretch you in ways you never imagined. But you’re allowed to hold your child and still hold yourself. You’re allowed to be tired and still seek joy. You’re allowed to want more—not just for your kids, but for you.
If you are reading this in a season of sleepless nights and quiet suffering, I want you to know: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not failing. You are exhausted, and you deserve rest.
You deserve to come back home to yourself.
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