Last year, I left an emotionally abusive relationship that left me in a dark place. During that time, my mindset was the worst it had been in years. I couldn’t understand how I, as a counsellor who had studied such issues for years, had fallen prey to becoming a victim myself.
As part of my healing, I began writing daily to release the emotions and struggles I was going through. At one point, I felt completely stuck in that mindset and clawed my way out using humour. What follows is a guide I created to remind myself that we are all human and can fall into the mindset trap. I call this “The Ultimate Guide to Having a Terrible Mindset.”
The Ultimate Guide to Having a Terrible Mindset
Are you tired of all those positive mindset guides telling you to think positively and embrace your inner light? Well, fear not! This satirical guide will show you how to have the worst mindset possible—complete with humour, pessimism, irony, sarcasm, negativity, and a healthy dose of self-doubt.
Welcome to the ultimate handbook for embracing a terrible mindset. In a world saturated with positive affirmations and self-help books, it’s time for those of us who prefer to explore the darker side of thinking to step up and be counted.
In this guide, we’ll cover everything from doubting yourself at every turn to finding the negative in every situation. So, let’s dive in.
Doubt Yourself Constantly
The cornerstone of a terrible mindset is self-doubt. Ignore any compliments or validation you receive and fixate only on your flaws and mistakes.
If you achieve something, dismiss it as pure luck or insist that someone else could have done it better. Never celebrate your accomplishments—after all, there’s always someone more talented than you.
Remember, success is for other people, not for someone with a terrible mindset like you.
Focus on the Negative
No matter how positive a situation may seem, make sure to spin it into something negative.
Got a promotion? That just means more responsibility and less free time. Asked out on a date? Great—now you have to worry about dressing up and making small talk for hours.
See the pattern? Every positive can be twisted into a negative if you try hard enough.
Believe That Failure Is Inevitable
Another essential step is convincing yourself that failure is unavoidable. Tell yourself you’re not smart enough, talented enough, or disciplined enough to succeed.
Instead of taking action, reassure yourself that any effort will end in failure anyway. This way, you can protect yourself from disappointment—and always have an excuse for not reaching your goals.
Surround Yourself with Negative People
Your circle matters. If you want to keep your mindset truly terrible, surround yourself with people who are just as negative as you are.
They’ll validate your pessimism, reinforce your self-doubt, and convince you that the world really is against you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy designed to keep you stuck.
Give Up Before You Even Start
Finally, the golden rule of having a terrible mindset: give up before you even begin.
Convince yourself it’s not worth the effort because failure is certain anyway. This way, you avoid risk, challenges, and—of course—any possibility of growth or opportunity.
This guide began as a tongue-in-cheek way to process my own pain, but it taught me something deeper: awareness is the first step to change. When we recognise the patterns that keep us stuck, we also give ourselves the chance to choose differently. Healing isn’t about never slipping into negativity—it’s about noticing when we do and finding the courage to step back into the light.
Living with a terrible mindset isn’t productive or healthy, but sometimes humour helps us see the absurdity of the traps we fall into. Writing this reminded me that I can either stay stuck in negativity or recognise the pattern and choose differently.
Flipping the script means focusing on the positive, no matter how small. Bad things happen to all of us—it’s what we do with them that truly matters.
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