Laetitia Felix On How to Support Yourself Through Pregnancy After Loss

Pregnancy after a loss feels different in a way that only someone who has lived it can understand.

It brings a mixture of gratitude and fear, hope and hesitation, joy and guilt. You want to celebrate this new life growing inside you… yet you also want to protect yourself from the possibility of heartbreak.

When you’ve walked through infertility, pregnancy loss(es), a traumatic birth, or any form of grief on your path to motherhood, your nervous system remembers. Your body remembers. Your heart remembers.

So instead of floating through pregnancy like people who have “never been through anything,” you might find yourself:

Being easily triggered by symptoms, silence, scans, or anything that reminds you of “last time”

Feeling fear so loud it stops you from enjoying a moment

Holding your breath between appointments

Struggling to connect with your baby or let yourself feel excited

Reaching the end of pregnancy and realising you haven’t bought anything, haven’t prepared anything, haven’t allowed yourself to feel joy

Feeling guilty for not being happier or “more grateful”

Counting the weeks like they’re the longest of your life

This is the aftermath of a hard conception journey. This is what happens when you’ve survived something no one prepared you for.

But although this pregnancy will never feel the same as it does for someone who hasn’t lived what you have, you are allowed to experience peace, connection, and even joy along the way.

And you are never meant to navigate this alone.

Below are simple practices I learned on my own journey and now teach my clients who are pregnant after loss.

Honour Your Previous Loss(es)

You don’t have to “move on.”

You can honour your baby or babies while also making space for the one you are carrying now.

There is no “right” way to remember a baby who has passed, but small, intentional moments of acknowledgement can be deeply healing.

Some women find comfort in lighting a candle, planting a tree, or naming their baby. Others write a letter, create a keepsake, or hold a quiet ritual to mark their loss.

Accept All That You Feel

You don’t need to “be positive.”
You don’t need to pretend.
You don’t need to feel happy 24/7.

What you do need is permission.

Permission to be scared and grateful.
Anxious and hopeful.
Detached one day and deeply connected the next.

Your emotional landscape is normal for someone who has experienced trauma.

And you don’t have to navigate these emotions alone — this is exactly where support helps you feel safe again.

Bring Safety Back Into Your Body

Pregnancy after loss isn’t just emotional — it’s deeply physiological.

If grief, fear, or trauma from infertility, loss, or a previous difficult pregnancy hasn’t been fully processed, your body holds onto it. This stored trauma can keep your nervous system on high alert. Even small triggers — a scan, a symptom, or a quiet moment — can feel overwhelming. Your heart may race, your body may tense, and your mind may spiral.

Your body is simply trying to keep you safe, even if it means staying hyper-aware.

The empowering truth is that you can help your body feel safer. You can regulate your nervous system and release stored trauma. Giving your body this support is crucial for feeling grounded and present.

Some effective ways include:

EFT (Tapping) — addresses the root of stored trauma and unwanted emotions while regulating the nervous system.
EMDR — safely reprocesses traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.
Hypnosis — supports calm, connection, and presence; guided visualisation can strengthen your bond with your baby.
Gentle breathwork and somatic grounding — reconnect you to your body and signal safety to your nervous system.

By consciously supporting your body, you create space for hope, connection, and joy — even while holding complex emotions from previous loss. This is how you reclaim safety, release what no longer serves you, and fully engage with your pregnancy after loss.

Connect With Yourself and Your Baby

Connection doesn’t always come instantly. After loss or a difficult pregnancy, it can feel slow, tentative, or even impossible — and that’s completely normal.

Gentle ways to nurture this bond include:

Short guided pregnancy meditations or visualisations: even a few minutes a day can help you feel present and connected.
Writing a love letter to your baby: expressing your hopes, fears, and feelings can open your heart.
Communicating with your baby’s spirit: for those who resonate, quiet moments of connection can be reassuring and grounding. Feeling their presence can reduce fear and strengthen your emotional bond. It may help to first speak with a trusted guide or communicator.

Connection doesn’t mean ignoring fear — it means letting love have some space too.

Find Pockets of Joy and Hope

You don’t have to choose between fear and happiness; they can coexist.

Pregnancy after loss is a delicate balance, and the first trimester especially can feel overwhelming. It’s normal to feel scared much of the time.

The key is to create small moments of joy throughout your day or week:

Celebrate milestones, no matter how small — a scan, or simply getting through a hard day.

Do things that lift you — time in nature, uplifting music, a comforting chat with a friend.

Practise gratitude — focus on small moments of safety or hope.

Remove unnecessary stress triggers — step back from social media or environments that increase anxiety.

Acknowledge your progress — take photos, reflect on how far you’ve come.

Shift your internal dialogue — speak kindly and compassionately to yourself.

These pockets of joy don’t erase fear, but they help you hold both love and worry at the same time, giving your nervous system breathing room.

Prepare in Small, Gentle Steps

If you reach the later stages of pregnancy and realise you’ve been holding your breath the entire time, you’re not alone.

Instead of waiting until you feel “ready,” take tiny steps:

Buy one small thing.
Organise one drawer.
Choose one song for labour.

Small actions help your mind and body adjust to the truth:

You are pregnant now.
This baby is here now.
And you are allowed to welcome them.

Pregnancy after loss is a profound mix of healing, vulnerability, courage, and transformation. It is unfair that any woman must walk this path after already enduring so much — but you do not have to walk it alone.

And while this pregnancy may never feel carefree, you are allowed to feel hopeful, more grounded, calmer, and more connected along the way.

You are doing something incredibly brave.

If you would like extra guidance and support, my Pregnancy After Loss & Birth Trauma Bundle is designed to help women navigate these emotions, reconnect with their body and baby, and feel more calm and present throughout pregnancy.

You can find out more here: https://www.mindsetbodyandsoul.com/pregnancy-support.