Have you ever felt completely drained, even though nothing “major” happened that day? No emergencies, no over-the-top drama - just a creeping sense that your energy’s been siphoned off, bit by bit.
For many women, that’s not just stress. It’s an energy leak.
You don’t have to be a healer or spiritual practitioner to have an energy body. We all do. And when we ignore our needs, override our instincts, or say yes when we mean no, we’re not just compromising our time - we’re giving away our power. (Photo by Shannon Barr photography - purchased and licensed by Debi Barr for commercial use)
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Where Does Your Energy Go?
Most of us were never taught about energetic boundaries. Instead, we learned to stay polite, say yes, avoid conflict, and be endlessly accommodating.
Here’s how that plays out in everyday life:
People-Pleasing. Saying yes to things you don’t want to do, simply to keep others happy or avoid awkwardness. On the surface, it seems harmless. But over time, it erodes your sense of agency and drains your energy.
Over-Committing. Filling your schedule to the brim because rest feels lazy, or because you feel guilty saying no. This is a fast track to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout.
Ignoring Intuition. You sense a situation feels “off,” but you override the feeling to keep the peace. Or you talk yourself out of setting a boundary, even when something inside you screams for it. That inner override is a form of energetic betrayal - and it adds up.
These leaks are subtle, but consistent. They slowly chip away at your confidence, clarity, and connection to yourself.
What Are Energetic Boundaries?
Energetic boundaries aren’t cold or rigid. They’re not about blocking people out or becoming “difficult.”
They’re simply the clear, compassionate recognition of where you end and someone else begins.
They protect your emotional space. They allow you to show up fully, without feeling depleted. They help you honour your needs without guilt.
Three Ways to Strengthen Your Energetic Boundaries
You don’t need to become a confrontation expert overnight. Strengthening your boundaries is about small, intentional shifts. Here are three to start with:
1. Pause Before You Say Yes
Instead of giving an automatic yes, create a pause.
You can say:
“Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
“I need a moment to think about that.”
That tiny pause gives your intuition space to speak. It stops the knee-jerk reaction and lets you respond consciously.
2. Notice Where Your Body Tightens
Your body is always giving you signals.
Do your shoulders tense when someone asks for your time? Does your stomach drop when you see a certain name pop up on your phone?
Pay attention to those cues. They often point to places where a boundary is being tested.
Instead of dismissing them, use them as information. Ask yourself: What would feel more supportive here?
3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
A boundary doesn’t need to come with a long explanation or apology.
Try phrases like:
“I’m not available for that, but I hope it goes well.”
“That doesn’t work for me right now.”
“I’m focusing on my own needs at the moment.”
You’re allowed to protect your energy. Saying no to what drains you means you can say yes to what nourishes you.
A Reminder to Take Up Space
You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your time, your energy, or your emotional bandwidth.
Reclaiming your energy isn’t selfish - it’s sacred.
And it starts with awareness. When you begin noticing where your energy is going, you can start calling it back.
If you’re ready, try one small shift today. A pause. A “no.” A moment of listening to your gut instead of silencing it.
You deserve to feel whole, clear, and powerful in your own skin.
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